Listy do Mikołaja

Moje jedenasto- i dwunastoletnie dzieci (znaczy się te szkolne - moich moich szczęśliwie jeszcze nie posiadam) są trochę za stare na pisanie listów do Mikołaja, ale kazałam im te listy napisać mimo to - miało być przekonująco, tak, żeby Mikołaj faktycznie przyniósł czego tylko sobie zażyczą. Efekty są całkiem interesujące. Wybrane argumenty poniżej, sama bym tego w wielu wypadkach lepiej nie ujęła:

Dear Santa,

• We have prisoners - your elves.
• If you don't give us what we want we'll kill you in Minecraft.
• We'll get you drunk on wine, beer, vodka and other types of alcohol. Then we'll do something to you (but we can't tell you what).
• Come to my house, I have a lot of beer, wine and a great bed. You can stay here. (To już mnie lekko zaniepokoiło)
• I know where you live as I threw a GPS in your pants last year. I'll tell you a story: once upon a time there was an explosion and everyone died because you didn't give me presents.
• Bring me what I want or I'm going to flush you in the toilet. Oh, no, I forgot: you are too fat.
• I know you went on a date with Mr Frost. I know you're gay. If you don't give me my presents (which I've enlisted in a very long attachment to this letter) I'll sell this information to SuperExpress and also tell your wife.
• Get me my presents, or I'll upload photos from your holidays on Facebook: you were sunbathing and smoking weed!

Wesołych.